| How to make real friends |
Friends
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When I think of a Princess, I think of a girl with lots of friends around her dressed as
pretty as she, taking walks in the gardens, giggling while pointing with their fans at the
handsome men in court and gossiping endlessly over tea. They would all be happy,
attend many parties and be doted on by their fathers.
In the real world, friends do not come so easily, they are not quite that loyal, and you
had better not point out the person you like because the next day one of those
“friends” will be dating them. So how does a person get real friends? Here are some
things that have worked in finding real friends.
I am reminded of a line in a movie I saw once. A father was sending his son off to
boarding school and he said to him, “You pick your friends, don’t let your friends pick
you.” That stuck with me. I have found that so true in life that the people that I met and
liked, I worked to socialize with were the ones that I have had for years and who have
always been there for me. The best place to start making real friends is with you and
knowing whom you are, what you like and what type of personality best suits you. So
if you like nature walks, baseball and the beach find people who love such activities. If
you see some cute guy in all black with black nails and mascara who stays home a lot
playing video games, smoking pot and only goes outside to skateboard over to his
friend that lives the same way, it would not be a good idea to befriend him because he
looks cool or you think he’s attractive. That is unless you desire to be just like him.
People make friends tend to conform and become like them or resent the poor choice
in a person that has no desire to be involved in the life you love. Now there are
exceptions to every rule so proceed with discernment and wisdom.
To make a friend you have to be a friend. Listening to people is a great way to make
friends. Don’t you like people more when they listen to you and are concerned about
what you have to say? Active listening is important. When your friends speak, do not
listen passively with an occasional yeah and uh huh, as you wait for them to inhale so
you can tell them about how your life and experience is related to what they just said,
and then take over the conversation.
Share your feelings with people. Now this friend lure is a great one but takes wisdom
and caution. I have a girlfriend who I work with who I share a love of shopping and
dining with. She also has a gift of gab. She knows everyone and his or her business.
If you want to find something out, she is the go to person. Having said that, I am
reminded of something my aunt told me years ago, “A dog that brings you a bone will
carry one back”. So if you happen to know some lovely people like that, my
suggestion is if you don’t want what you say to be told to the world, this is the person
you keep your personal business from and who you don’t tell secrets to.
Loyalty is so hard to find in friends so it is important if you want loyal friends you must
be loyal. If you are with a group of friends and someone starts speaking of a friend of
yours negatively. A loyal friend does not join in on the negative talk and may even
discourage it with the words, “now that’s not nice. I remember “so and so helping you
with this that and the other.” Well you know what I mean. Point out the persons
positive qualities.
It is important not to expect perfection from our friends. They will make mistakes, not
always be able to be there for us and even get irritated with our behavior from time to
time. Forgiveness as definitely needed in making and keeping friends.
I hope I have helped all of you wonderful readers to identify who makes a good friend,
that you must be a good friend to attract good friends and the importance of give and
take in any relationship.
Smiles!
pretty as she, taking walks in the gardens, giggling while pointing with their fans at the
handsome men in court and gossiping endlessly over tea. They would all be happy,
attend many parties and be doted on by their fathers.
In the real world, friends do not come so easily, they are not quite that loyal, and you
had better not point out the person you like because the next day one of those
“friends” will be dating them. So how does a person get real friends? Here are some
things that have worked in finding real friends.
I am reminded of a line in a movie I saw once. A father was sending his son off to
boarding school and he said to him, “You pick your friends, don’t let your friends pick
you.” That stuck with me. I have found that so true in life that the people that I met and
liked, I worked to socialize with were the ones that I have had for years and who have
always been there for me. The best place to start making real friends is with you and
knowing whom you are, what you like and what type of personality best suits you. So
if you like nature walks, baseball and the beach find people who love such activities. If
you see some cute guy in all black with black nails and mascara who stays home a lot
playing video games, smoking pot and only goes outside to skateboard over to his
friend that lives the same way, it would not be a good idea to befriend him because he
looks cool or you think he’s attractive. That is unless you desire to be just like him.
People make friends tend to conform and become like them or resent the poor choice
in a person that has no desire to be involved in the life you love. Now there are
exceptions to every rule so proceed with discernment and wisdom.
To make a friend you have to be a friend. Listening to people is a great way to make
friends. Don’t you like people more when they listen to you and are concerned about
what you have to say? Active listening is important. When your friends speak, do not
listen passively with an occasional yeah and uh huh, as you wait for them to inhale so
you can tell them about how your life and experience is related to what they just said,
and then take over the conversation.
Share your feelings with people. Now this friend lure is a great one but takes wisdom
and caution. I have a girlfriend who I work with who I share a love of shopping and
dining with. She also has a gift of gab. She knows everyone and his or her business.
If you want to find something out, she is the go to person. Having said that, I am
reminded of something my aunt told me years ago, “A dog that brings you a bone will
carry one back”. So if you happen to know some lovely people like that, my
suggestion is if you don’t want what you say to be told to the world, this is the person
you keep your personal business from and who you don’t tell secrets to.
Loyalty is so hard to find in friends so it is important if you want loyal friends you must
be loyal. If you are with a group of friends and someone starts speaking of a friend of
yours negatively. A loyal friend does not join in on the negative talk and may even
discourage it with the words, “now that’s not nice. I remember “so and so helping you
with this that and the other.” Well you know what I mean. Point out the persons
positive qualities.
It is important not to expect perfection from our friends. They will make mistakes, not
always be able to be there for us and even get irritated with our behavior from time to
time. Forgiveness as definitely needed in making and keeping friends.
I hope I have helped all of you wonderful readers to identify who makes a good friend,
that you must be a good friend to attract good friends and the importance of give and
take in any relationship.
Smiles!
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